World Domination Pillow Talk
by SepatownSon
Summary: Clark and Diana discuss the pros and cons of becoming dictators. One shot. SM/WW


Intense, mind blowing, incredible, earth shattering, marvelous, wonderful. Any number of adjectives could describe what it was like to spend an evening making love to Diana of Themyscira. It was one of the few instances in Clark Kent's life where he truly felt like a Superman. Then again, Clark figured that most men would feel like a Superman when they get a beautiful woman into their bed.

Or maybe it was because one literally had to be a Superman to survive a sex session with Diana. She self admittedly 'does it like an Amazon'. Biting, pinching, scratching and slapping were regular occurrences with her. They'd been together for almost a year now and Clark discovered that the harder she hit him the more she was enjoying things.

Diana had started out the evening mad at Clark, he had been refusing to pose for her 'Men of the Justice League' calendar. Knowing full well that all of the profits of their sale would benefit her various charities and that it wouldn't be nearly as successful without him. He had been lounging in the fortress when she confronted him about it, and when he declined she got physical with him. Then he turned the tables and things got sexual, leading them to where they were now.

She was about to roll over and ask him again to pose in the calendar when he rolled out of the bed and started rummaging around in the cabinet next to it. He rolled back over with a sandwich in his hand.

Diana looked at him as if he'd just grown an extra head. "Wh...where did you get that?"

"There's a fridge over here. You didn't know that?"

"You keep food right next to the bed? Who does that?"

"Probably plenty of people. You want something? Water? A sandwich?"

"No, I don't want a sandwich! Why are you eating in bed anyway? There's going to be crumbs everywhere. Unless you have some sort of Kryptonian automatic vacuum that I don't know about.

"I'm hungry."

"You are ridiculous." She rolled her eyes and leaned back.

Clark didn't dispute her, he just took a big bite of his turkey club.

Diana on the other hand shifted in the bed so that she was laying on top of the covers. Giving Clark a full view of her glorious body. She stretched her arms by reaching over her head and poking her chest out, knowing full well Clark was staring with wide eyes. Usually she was one to get up first thing in the morning and get to work at the embassy, but there was nothing to do for a few hours today. So she elected to stay in bed for the time being.

"Do you have anything to do today?" Diana asked him.

"Nope. I've got the day off at the Planet, no monitor duty for a few days. I'll probably just fly around, do the usual."

Diana sighed loudly. "That sounds beautiful. I've got a photoshoot today. You should stop by, it'll give you an idea of what you'll have to do when you shoot for my calendar."

"I'm not doing that, because then people will know we're dating, and then they'll be all worried we'll take over the world. It's all downhill from there."

"You know I never got that." Diana back sat up. "Why is it people think that just because we're sleeping together means we'll automatically take over the world? Is there a link between sex and dictatorship?"

"Not that I'm aware of." Clark mumbled with another bite of his sandwich in his mouth. "Although, it wouldn't be hard to do."

"Hard to do what?"

"Take over the world." Clark confirmed.

"Oh. No I guess it wouldn't, but I'd imagine it would be stressful."

"Yeah it would. " Clark agreed.

"We'd have to find a way to be subtle dictators."

"Yeah, which means we'd have to start off world." Clark sat and pondered for a moment, before settling on a plan of action. "We'd have to figure out how to kill Darkseid."

"How would that help? Other than the the fact that Darkseid is dead." Diana wondered.

"That way, we could be seen as liberators, they'd welcome the change."

Diana thought about it, he had a point, but it wasn't without it's flaws. "But Darkseid isn't what he used to be."

"That's true." Clark conceded. "He was the baddest dude that ever lived for a few thousand years. But after a couple failed attempts at taking over Earth and a few ass kickings by me and you, and Donna, and J'onn, Kara and Karen, we've proved that he's not invincible, he's got revolts everywhere. Why do you think he hasn't invaded earth for the last 2 years?"

"Right, but then it becomes work, work, work all the time. I wouldn't want that. If I'm Queen of the Universe I want to relax."

"Ok, in order to take over, we'd have to do it in such a manner that we become unchallengeable so that we can do as we please. I don't want to deal with revolting planets any more than you do. If I were King of the Universe I'd want to sit around, eat a turkey sandwich and have sex all day." Clark said with a smile.

Diana rolled her eyes. "You would say that. Although, so long as the sandwich and the sex are separated I'm on board."

Clark looked a little sad. The only thing that could have made this current situation better was if Diana had brought him the sandwich. Was that overly chauvinistic? Yes, which was why he didn't ask her to.

Diana backtracked a little. "Don't get me wrong I'm all for fantasy. But keep the food in the kitchen."

"What about sex in the kitchen?"

Diana frowned, then thought about it. "Ok I hadn't considered that, but there would have to be parameters. I don't like the idea of you smearing mayonnaise on me."

Clark recoiled in disgust. "Why would I do that?"

"You're the one who said turkey sandwich."

"Not like that. I just like turkey sandwiches, that's got nothing to do with you." Clark was still aghast at her mayonnaise comment. "See what I would do, is lay you over the counter and drizzle chocolate sauce over your body, and then lick…"

Diana cut him off. "This might be sexy if you didn't have lettuce in the corner of your mouth."

"Oh, damn." He wiped his face of the leafy greens, having to confirm with Diana if he got it or not.

Clark had opened up a whole new world of lovemaking for her just now. When she came back here tonight after her embassy work she'd definitely have a jar of chocolate sauce with her, just to see where things might lead. She still needed to convince him to pose for her calendar, she could blackmail him with sex.

"Anyway, so we'd take over by killing Darkseid and pretending to liberate anyone who was under his control. I think then we'd have to take New Genesis." Diana got back to the original subject.

"That would be easier than you think. They'd be happy with us if we took out Darkseid and they probably would help us align ourselves with the more powerful armies out there. Such as Thangar and Almerac." Clark went on.

"Thangar would be a problem, so would Almerac for that matter."

"Not Almerac, all I'd have to do is throw Maxima a quickie and she'd do whatever I wanted."

"Not if you want to keep me around." Diana warned. "If you're nailing Maxima, you won't be nailing me. I can't believe you would even want to 'throw her one."

"I don't!" Clark argued. "Why do you think she hates me so much? Do you know how many times I've turned that woman down?"

"So we'd have to kill Maxima too?" Diana surmised. "This is starting to get difficult."

"Unless we used the anti-life equation."

"Right, and do you know what that is?"

"No."

"Exactly, people like Darkseid have spent millennia trying to find it, you don't even like to pick up your socks, are you sure you have the dedication spend that much time searching for a silly equation?"

"Says the woman who doesn't even wear socks half the time, or anything for that matter." Clark was a little salty about being called out like that, but then took the chance to drink in her heavenly feminine form again.

"You love that." Diana's comeback was quick with a hint of seduction.

Clark didn't answer, he had no defense for that. Damn right he loved it.

"So it appears that taking over the world would be more difficult than initially thought." Clark finally said.

"I guess so." Diana agreed. "So does this mean we won't do it?"

"Apparently."

"Oh well, life isn't so bad the way it is now anyway." Diana rolled out of bed and headed towards the bathroom for a shower.

"No it isn't."

"Do me a favor, vacuum up those breadcrumbs before I get back tonight." Diana disappeared into the bathroom.

"Ok." Clark answered, then called after her somewhat sarcastically. "Love you!"

"Yeah you too."

* * *

 _A/N: Just a quick little story in honor of Valentine's Day. I know, I know, I'm slacking on Culture Shock, but I promise to finish it... eventually._


End file.
